Television has really gone down the toilet lately, don’t you think? It’s Saturday night and I’m talking to you good people instead of sitting down in front of the TV. I’m not saying that I’m completely stuck for something to do on a Saturday night, just that on this particular evening, when no other engagement has arisen, I can’t even rely on the ol’ Palsonic Flatron to entertain. And similarly, I’m not saying talking to you guys is some last resort activity for when there’s nothing on TV and the neighbours’ curtains are drawn, I’m just saying that of all nights, surely the television big-wigs would ensure that there was something worth watching on Saturday!
Now, I don’t mean to sound all patriarchic, I’m not even sure ‘patriarchic’ means what I want it to mean but my Pocket Oxford seems to have gone AWOL so hopefully nobody will notice. The latter part of that sentence might be a bit of a giveaway but what can I do about it? Delete it? Well, I suppose I could but I like the reference to ‘Pocket Oxford’ – gives the entry a sort of trendy-casual Sydney Morning Herald feel. Actually, looking back I’m not sure I do like it that much, stupid name for a dictionary – it doesn’t fit into any pocket of mine, not without putting undue strain on the seams anyway. And what sort of person carries a dictionary around in his pocket? What can be so important that you can’t wait until you get home to look up? I suppose the word ‘patriarchic’ is a good case in point, but I AM at home and I can’t even find the wretched thing. But I digress.
Not that I want to sound all grandfatherly [Does that sound too plain?] but I remember the good old days when we would be glued, positively adhered to the television set every Saturday night. Quality programming back in them days: The Bill, Heartbeat, Parky, Hey Hey it’s Saturday – even going to the toilet was a sacrifice. Now what have we got? I’m not sure, I didn’t look at the guide but it will be something along the Who’s-restaurant-has-the-X-factor-Extreame-Makeover-Celebrity-Challenge-Vanuatu (followed by the Simpsons) lines. Honestly, I’m about this close to sending “I Don’t Give a Rats” to 193-444 (55 cent incl. GST).
Oops, I’ve got to go, Star Wars is about to start.
What would you like to see back on the small screen? Leave a message.
PS: I found my dictionary, I left it in my other pants.